


冬の匂いだ

by mochibbh



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, minor past dojae, minor side johnten, past yutae, the yutae is in the past but there's a scene from their relationship in the second chapter lol, theres not that much angst tho i promise, yuta's sisters and mother are lovely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:23:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochibbh/pseuds/mochibbh
Summary: Yuta stood, with Doyoung's hands in his, marveling at the strength of Doyoung's heart after all this time.***Yuta drags Doyoung to Osaka as his fake boyfriend. It's only for five days, what harm could be done?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alienkookies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienkookies/gifts).



> hello doyu lovers and anyone else who has stumbled upon this :~)
> 
> firstly, to my recipient, alienkookies, i had such a good time writing this, i really fell in love with it after one particular scene. i sincerely hope it lives up to your expectations and that i did your prompt justice!!
> 
> some things to note:  
> 1\. for clarity, dialogue written in italics ( _"looks like this"_ ) is meant to be in japanese unless otherwise stated. you'll get the gist of it when you keep reading lol  
> 2\. there's some angst but it's not heavy at all, and there's definitely a happy ending
> 
> with these things in mind, i hope you enjoy my doyu!! <3 thank you to the fest mods as well <3333

Yuta did his best to keep from squinting his eyes shut so that he wouldn’t have to see Doyoung staring back at him. Instead, he kept his look of determination with as much confidence as he could, even though he could feel his resolve wavering with every second that dragged on.

 _This is so humiliating,_ Yuta thought to himself. He clenched his jaw and felt some sweat threaten to drip down his temple. He was fighting the urge to wring his hands together anxiously, and he knew it probably showed on his face, but he wasn’t going to back down now, not when he had already gotten this far.

 _Why isn’t he saying anything,_ Yuta wondered nervously after a few more painstakingly long moments of silence. Doyoung just kept staring, and Yuta couldn’t read his expression, which seemed carefully schooled into blankness, and it only served to make Yuta dig his fingernails harder into his palm. He was starting to shift in his place on Doyoung’s couch, becoming restless with nerves. Say _something, you stubborn idiot, this is_ so _humiliating—_

“Okay,” Doyoung said. His voice was even, not betraying a hint of any emotion he could have been feeling.

Yuta blinked and felt the tension bleed out of his body, but he remained on edge. “Okay?” he questioned with doubt heavy in the word. It came out small and uncertain, and Yuta silently cursed how visibly nervous he was.

Doyoung only cocked his head slightly to the side and blinked, mirroring Yuta. “Yeah. I’ll do it,” he said, as if the words coming out of his mouth made total sense.

And it _didn’t_ make any sense; Yuta was ready to fight for Doyoung’s compliance, and at the worst, he was ready for Doyoung to be genuinely offended by what he asked of him. But Doyoung had just agreed without putting up a fight, without even asking any questions. Yuta had a right to be skeptical.

“You want something in return, don’t you.” It was a statement, not a question, and Yuta was almost relieved when a small grin made its way onto Doyoung’s blank face. This was the Doyoung he knew. “Fine, I’ll do anything. What do you want from me?”

Doyoung jutted his bottom lip out slightly. Yuta knew that meant he was thinking, and he steeled himself for Doyoung to ask something ridiculous that he’d have no choice but to comply to. “I’ll keep thinking about it,” Doyoung settled for, “but, yes, I will help you out.”

Yuta let the rest of his body relax, and he sighed, resting his head on the back of the couch. “Thank you.”

With that, Yuta had gotten Doyoung to be his boyfriend.

 

❄️

 

Sort of.

“You really did it? You asked Doyoungie?” Taeyong shouted through the phone the next day.

Yuta had just rolled over in bed to answer his phone, but he held it at a distance when he heard Taeyong shouting. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and yawned a bit before telling him, “Yeah, I asked him yesterday. How did you know?”

“He told me this morning before he left for work. He said he was going to Osaka for Christmas,” Taeyong explained. Yuta could hear the sound of the subway in the background, meaning Taeyong was just getting home from the dance studio he worked at. “Are you just waking up? Yuta, it’s 5.”

“No, I just got home and was going to nap.” Yuta rolled his eyes at the accusation—as if any of their friends woke up before Yuta. Johnny was the only one who was an early riser like him, which is why they worked well together as housemates. “Are you with Ten? Does anyone else know?”

“Ten is working a bit overtime, so he’s not with me. I don’t think Doyoung’s told anyone else yet. Besides, Ten would be so annoying about it, he’s probably waiting to tell him until right before you two leave,” Taeyong reasoned. Yuta hummed in agreement. “How did it go, though? Did he yell at you?” Yuta could hear the curiosity in his voice, and he rolled his eyes again.

“No, actually, he agreed really easily. I told him I’d give him anything he wants, but he hasn’t told me what that is, yet.”

Taeyong sighed on the other side of the phone. “That sounds dangerous,” he joked. There was a hint of seriousness in his voice, but it was easy for Yuta to pretend he didn’t hear it.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll take him to Osaka to meet my family and we’ll pretend he’s my boyfriend until we come back home and I’ll tell my family we broke up later. Easy,” Yuta said, his face sinking farther into his pillow with each word.  

“You know, you could still ask Ten or Johnny. They wouldn’t mind,” Taeyong said. His voice had dropped to a softer tone, the concern palpable even though Yuta could tell that Taeyong was trying to hide it.

Yuta lifted his head slightly from his pillow. “It’s okay. I didn’t want to make them do that for me when they’ve only just started going out,” he said. “It’s not like I could ask you either, not after my family knows we’ve already broken up.”

Yuta could nearly hear Taeyong wince on the other end. “Right. I know, I’m just worried. Doyoung’s been… a bit down lately, and I don’t want either of you to be all weird after this.”

 _Down?_ Yuta wondered to himself. “Because of Jaehyun?” Doyoung and Jaehyun had dated for a good six months before Jaehyun broke it off about a month ago. Yuta didn’t think that Doyoung took it too hard, but maybe Doyoung just didn’t tell him everything.

“Something like that,” Taeyong answered. Yuta could tell that he was holding something back, but he let it go.

“It’ll be fine. My family won’t annoy me this year for being single, and then we’ll just come back home. No reason for this to get weirder than it already is,” Yuta stated. _They won’t keep asking questions about you_ is left unsaid.

“Alright,” Taeyong said. Yuta could tell he wasn’t convinced, but that was okay. Yuta didn’t need Taeyong to be convinced.

 

❄️

 

Things were different between Yuta and Taeyong.  

Yuta had taken Taeyong to Osaka to meet his family around the same time last year. Taeyong broke up with him a month later.

It was a shame, Yuta thought, but it’s fine. It’s a shame because Yuta lost a best friend, but it could have been worse. At least they were still friends, even if conversation was awkward, stagnated. It was fine.

Besides, Yuta had Ten and Johnny, and also Doyoung, who was supposed to come over that day so the two of them could go over their itinerary for Osaka.

Yuta didn’t really have any solid plans; he wanted to show off his home to Doyoung, but he didn’t have anything set in stone. He figured they could just take things as they come since they would have enough free time in between hanging out with Yuta’s family.

Doyoung, of course, wouldn’t have any of that.

“If I’m travelling to Osaka during Christmas just to save your single ass, then we’re gonna do what _I_ wanna do,” Doyoung announced when he arrived at Yuta and Johnny’s apartment, laptop and notebook in hand. He planted himself down at their coffee table and opened his laptop, placing his notebook to the side.

Yuta groaned. “I just want to relax, can’t we just chill while we’re there?” He didn’t say he was planning on showing Doyoung around anyways. Doyoung would have thrown any plans he had right in the trash.

“So if we’re arriving on the 23rd and leaving on the 28th, then we’ll probably have enough time to do the things we want as long as we plan smart. I have a list,” Doyoung rattled on, ignoring Yuta. “Obviously, being with your family is our first priority, but I want to do all of this, too,” he stated, tapping the notebook.

Sighing, Yuta took a look at the list that Doyoung had written out. It was about twenty items long, give or take, and it made Yuta look back up at Doyoung incredulously. “I don’t think we’ll have enough time to do all of this _and_ spend time with my family.” He took another look at the list. “Why is Dotonbori on here twice?”

“We _will_ have time for all of this, we just have to plan it well,” Doyoung insisted. “And I like eating at new places, so I want to go there twice.”

“I mean, okay, we can do that,” Yuta reasoned. “But Universal Studios is probably a no-go. It’s expensive. Also, do you really want to go to the ramen museum? Really?”

Doyoung huffed. “You get to customize your own cup of ramen! Let me live, I’ve never been abroad, I want to try new things.”

“You’ve never been to another country?” Yuta asked, surprised. Doyoung shook his head. There was a bit of silence between the two of them, the only sound being Doyoung tapping away at his laptop, before Yuta sighed.

“Doyoung, there’s really not enough time to do all of this,” Yuta said. Before Doyoung could protest, Yuta continued, “I honestly don’t know when my family is gonna want us to hang out with them, and that would throw a wrench in your plans. But if we cut down your list to, like, half or a bit less, that’s doable. Okay?”

Doyoung looked halfway between arguing and giving in, but eventually his shoulders deflated and he muttered, “Fine. Your family comes first.”

Yuta offered him an apologetic grin. “Thanks. How about we do three of the big things you have listed here, and if we have more downtime, you just leave it up to me? I know some cool stuff to do and places to go that won’t have a ton of tourists around.” Doyoung nodded at that and set out to prioritize what he wanted to do on his list.

Doyoung narrowed his list down to about seven things when Yuta’s phone started ringing.

“Oh, it’s my mom,” Yuta said. “Wanna talk to her?”

“Uh—” Doyoung started, but it was too late. Yuta had already answered the call and put it on speaker.

 _“Hi mom! Doyoung is with me,”_ Yuta said. He spoke Japanese, and of course his mother spoke back in Japanese, and Yuta laughed at the panic that grew on Doyoung’s face.

Yuta’s mother said something on the other end of the line, so Yuta translated. “She says hi.”

 _“Ah, um, hello,”_ Doyoung managed to squeak out in his very limited Japanese. Yuta laughed again, and his mother sounded delighted.

After some minutes of going over logistics (flight times, where Doyoung will sleep, what days they’ll see family) and Yuta’s mother fussing over Yuta a bit, she said something that made Yuta stutter a bit. Doyoung noticed but said nothing, letting the two continue their conversation. At the end of it, Doyoung bid her goodbye (again, in his limited Japanese), and Yuta hung up the call.

“What did she say to you just now?” Doyoung asked. Yuta could tell he was curious, but he could hear from Doyoung’s tone of voice that it came from a place of concern.

Yuta knew he could lie to him; Doyoung hadn’t understood them, and Yuta wasn’t sure if he wanted him to know.

But Doyoung deserved to know, and Yuta wasn’t a liar, so he told him, even though the truth came with a bit of unwelcome nostalgia.

“She said that she missed Taeyong,” Yuta relayed. Doyoung’s eyebrows rose in surprise, and also some mild panic, so Yuta quickly followed up with, “She’s just being a little dramatic because she liked how he spoke Japanese so well. But she wanted me to tell you that she’s really looking forward to meeting you.”

Doyoung’s eyebrows furrowed a bit, but he nodded in understanding. “I forgot Taeyong could speak Japanese,” he mentioned, looking like something was bothering him.

Yuta shrugged and took Doyoung’s notebook to see where his list was at. “He’s been studying since he met me, so that’s almost six years now. You shouldn’t have a problem in Osaka, though, my older sister speaks Korean, and my little sister will talk to anyone regardless, so communicating probably won’t be an issue.” He handed Doyoung his notebook back. “Are you gonna keep the aquarium on here? It’s sort of far from where I live.”

Doyoung took his notebook from Yuta’s hands, much more gently than how he normally would have, and Yuta couldn’t help but think that Doyoung seemed distracted. “I want to see a whale shark, so the aquarium is non-negotiable. I can figure out how to get there, so don’t worry about that. I’ll text you the final list tomorrow.” He started packing his things up, still looking like his mind was somewhere else, so Yuta cocked his head to the side.

“Everything okay?” he asked as Doyoung hurriedly put his laptop into his bag.

Doyoung paused in his movements at the question, but only for a moment. “Yeah, I just need to, uh, head back home. Taeyong is working a bit late so someone needs to feed Ten.”

“Ten’s not an infant,” Yuta chuckled.

Doyoung rolled his eyes. “That’s what you’d _think,_ but he’ll probably starve if someone doesn’t cook him dinner.” He finished putting on his shoes and, with his hand on the doorknob of Yuta’s apartment, he looked back at Yuta. “I’ll text you later about plans and stuff,” he reiterated.

Yuta nodded and sat on his couch, knowing Doyoung could let himself out. “I’ll see you soon, _boyfriend,”_ he teased.

Doyoung walked out of the apartment, but not before flipping Yuta off first.

 

“You asked Doyoung out and _you didn’t tell me?”_ Ten shouted, bursting into Yuta’s apartment later that night.

Yuta groaned in exasperation upon hearing the door slam against the wall. “Stop doing that! You’ll damage the wall and I won’t get my deposit back, and then I’ll take back the key I gave you,” he yelled back. “Also, I didn’t tell you because I _knew_ you were going to be weird and dramatic about it like you’re being now.”

Ten shut the door much more gently than he had opened it, then swiftly threw his bag at where Yuta was sitting on the couch. Yuta made a small _oof_ sound as Ten’s heavy bag hit him. “I can’t believe I had to find out from Doyoung instead of you,” he whined, taking his place next to Yuta.

Yuta placed Ten’s bag on the floor and sighed, laying down so he could put his feet in Ten’s lap since Ten hated that. Sure enough, Ten made a face, and Yuta smirked. “If Doyoung told you, then you should know he’s coming as my _fake_ boyfriend,” Yuta explained, wriggling his toes in Ten’s face. Ten pushed them away roughly. “Emphasis on the fake, in case that wasn’t clear.”

“That’s not what it sounded like to me,” Ten drawled, scooting to the other end of the couch so Yuta couldn’t touch him with his disgusting toes. “Doyoung told _me_ that you asked _him_ to, and I quote, ‘be his boyfriend for five days.’ Sounds more like a _temporary_ boyfriend to me.”

Yuta stood and stalked to his kitchen. “Fake, temporary, what’s the difference?” He rooted around in his fridge for a bit before settling on leftovers and popping them in his microwave. “Want a beer?”

“No thanks, I haven’t eaten yet,” Ten replied from the couch.

Yuta furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and peeked his head from around the corner to look at Ten. “I thought Doyoung made dinner for you tonight.”

Ten looked back at him, confusion apparent on his own face. “Not tonight, he knew I was going to have dinner with Johnny. Where is he, anyways?”

“Taking a shower,” Yuta muttered. _But Doyoung said he was making dinner for Ten,_ he wondered.

He didn’t bring it up with Ten again, but Yuta kept it in the back of his mind throughout the rest of the night, even after Ten and Johnny left for dinner.

Yuta didn’t dwell on the hurt from being lied to either. He didn’t have time for it to make him so exhausted like he knew it would.

 

❄️

 

The next week passed normally and quietly (save for Doyoung arguing with Yuta some more about what he wanted to do on the trip), and before he knew it, Yuta was seated next to Doyoung on a flight to see his family.

He let his head rest on Doyoung’s shoulder when he was sleepy. _Just practice for when we land,_ he reasoned. Doyoung stiffened but relaxed quickly, so Yuta left his head on Doyoung’s shoulder until he fell asleep.

When they landed, Yuta woke up and pretended he didn’t feel Doyoung’s cheek resting on top of his head or the soft breaths in his hair. Instead, he yanked his head out from under Doyoung’s and poked his side until Doyoung was roused from his sleep.

“Wuh,” Doyoung mumbled sleepily, blinking his eyes open.

Yuta chuckled. “We’re here, _babe,_ ” he said with a smirk. “Wake up, we gotta grab our luggage and meet my sisters.” He lightly shook Doyoung’s shoulder on his way into the aisle for good measure.

There was no retort from Doyoung, or any rude hand gestures, just some more groggy mumbles as he stood up to obey Yuta and grab his luggage from the overhead compartment.

After they both grabbed their luggage (Doyoung with his suitcase that was probably too big and Yuta with his duffle bag that was definitely not big enough), they began walking towards the pickup area. Doyoung, still sluggish and sleepy, linked his fingers with Yuta’s gently.

Yuta’s eyes wandered from their interlocked fingers to Doyoung’s face, confused.

“Your sisters are here to get us, right? Might as well trick your family from the start,” Doyoung explained through a big yawn.

Yuta resisted the urge to coo at Doyoung’s drowsiness. “Don’t say it like that, I don’t like the idea that we’re deceiving my family,” he muttered.

“Well that’s exactly what you asked me to do, so get used to it. Are those your sisters over there?” Doyoung gestured with his chin in the direction of a shorter girl with dark, long hair. She waved excitedly at them alongside another girl who was slightly taller than her.

Yuta felt a smile quickly overtake his face at the sight of his sisters. He didn’t usually miss his family, he had made a home for himself in Korea quickly, but he couldn’t deny that seeing them after being away for so long each year sent a surge of joy through him.

Doyoung let go of his hand to let Yuta bound towards his younger sister, who threw her arms around his neck. Yuta bent his head down a bit to allow her better access and laughed into the hug.

 _“It’s been a while, Haru,”_ he said after she let him go. He ruffled her hair, like the annoying big brother he was, and she shook her head out of his reach to pat down the stray strands of hair that Yuta sent flying.

 _“Don’t mess up my hair, I have to look good in front of your cute boyfriend,”_ Haru pouted.

Yuta grinned brightly and turned to Doyoung who had just caught up to him. _“He is cute, isn’t he?”_ he bragged. He looped his arm with Doyoung’s and began to introduce him. _“This is—”_

 _“You’re Haruna, right? It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m Doyoung, Yuta’s boyfriend,”_ Doyoung said in Japanese, bowing his head.

Yuta and Haru stared at Doyoung, blinking, before Yuta shoved Doyoung’s chest in shock.

“When did you learn Japanese?!” _“You didn’t tell me he knows Japanese!”_ The siblings hollered in unison.

Doyoung chuckled sheepishly _. “I did my best to learn before coming. I wanted it to be a surprise. Is it alright?”_ He turned towards Yuta with the question, eyes wide, waiting for an answer.

The look in Doyoung’s eyes told Yuta he was seeking genuine approval, and it made Yuta’s hand travel back to Doyoung’s. He gave the other’s hand a reassuring squeeze, and he smiled happily. “It’s really good,” he complimented in Korean. He felt some of the tension from Doyoung’s body flow out with his words, and he squeezed his hand again. “Seriously, when did you learn? You could barely talk to my mom on the phone a week ago.”

Doyoung looked at his feet, and Yuta swore he could see his cheeks turning the slightest shade of pink. “I studied really hard this past week. I wanted your mom to like me,” he muttered under his breath, embarrassed.

Yuta was about to praise him more when his older sister walked up to them from behind Haru. She was about the same height as Yuta, brown hair falling just below her chin. She faced Doyoung first and said, in Korean, “Doyoung? I’m Momoka, Yuta’s older sister. Please just call me Momo.”

Doyoung nodded his head vehemently, bowing his head again. “It’s nice to meet you. Your Korean is really good.”

Momo looked into his eyes for a moment, making Doyoung almost sweat from nervousness, before she broke into a laugh. “I hope so, I’ve been studying it for six years,” she said, grinning. “Your Japanese is good, too. You learned so much so well in just a week. Mom is gonna love you.”

Doyoung blushed again, but smiled widely. “I hope so.”

“Really, she will. She’ll love you just for putting up with this one,” Momo said, ruffling Yuta’s hair like he did to Haru.

Yuta backed out of her arm’s reach to pat his hair back down. _“That’s mean,”_ he whined. _“I’m a catch.”_

 _“You’re a handful, is what you are,”_ Momo shot back. Yuta rolled his eyes while Haru laughed from behind her. “Mom has lunch ready for us, so let’s go home.”

 _“I can’t believe you have a car now. Sounds convenient,”_ Yuta said as they began to walk out of the airport. Behind them, Doyoung and Haru were engaged in (mostly one-sided) conversation as Doyoung did his best to match Haru’s speedy speaking. The sight made Yuta’s chest fill with warmth and constrict all at once.

 _“It is convenient, but it was expensive,”_ Momo sighed. _“Saved up a year for it, but it’s pretty nice.”_ She glanced behind her to see Doyoung nod along to whatever Haru was talking animatedly about. _“How long have you been seeing him?”_

 _“Mm, about a month now, not too long. I’ve known him for a lot longer, though,”_ Yuta explained. He and Doyoung came up with a fake story of how they got together and made sure to keep it simple: they’d been dating for a month after being friends for a few years. A month ago, something in the two of them just “clicked,” and here they were now. Yuta thought it was a cute story, vague enough so that the two of them (mostly Yuta) wouldn’t forget any details. _“I’m glad Haru seems to like him.”_

Momo looked at him, silent for a bit, before she spoke back. _“I think she’s excited to meet him. You know she’s studying to be a Japanese language teacher for kids, right? Doyoung is good practice, although it seems like he knows a lot already.”_

Yuta laughed. _“I can’t believe she’s already in university,”_ he lamented as they reached their car in the parking garage. _“I remember when she would cry and ask me to accompany her to the bathroom at night. Also this car looks really expensive,”_ he rambled.

 _“You say that every time you visit home, and yes, the car was kind of expensive,”_ Momo said, rolling her eyes. She popped the trunk of the car open for Yuta and Doyoung to dump their luggage into. The two of them filed into the back seats of the car and they began to drive off towards Yuta’s house.

Yuta took the opportunity as his sisters were talking to lean towards Doyoung and whisper quietly, “You doing okay? I know Haru talks a lot.”

Doyoung let a tiny sigh escape, but he nodded his head. “It’s hard to keep up, but I’m learning a lot from her. I think she asked me how I deal with you. I told her I didn’t know.” He grinned cheekily.

Yuta pouted and punched Doyoung’s shoulder lightly. “Haha, funny. Everyone in this car just loves to bully me,” he sulked.

Doyoung chuckled and leaned his head back against the headrest. Yuta huffed and pulled his feet up so he could hold his knees to his chest, but Momo scolded him for putting his dirty shoes on the seat of the car. He groaned and let his feet back down, knocking his head back against his headrest dramatically.

It was going to be a long week for him.

 

Lunch was a relatively normal affair, with Yuta’s mother spending at least an hour showering Doyoung with questions and praises that he tried his best to answer without the help of Yuta or Momo. By the time lunch was over and Yuta’s mother instructed Yuta to show Doyoung where he would be sleeping, it was already 4:00 PM.

His mother had laid out a futon on the floor of Yuta’s bedroom for Doyoung, but Doyoung headed straight for Yuta’s bed and flopped down onto it face first.

“Hey, that’s mine,” Yuta said, poking Doyoung’s still body. Doyoung said something, but it was muffled by the sheets, so Yuta just sighed and sat next to him.

It had been a year since he last visited home, and he looked around his bedroom. Coming home always brought on nostalgia for his childhood, and it was no wonder considering all of the old photos and soccer trophies he had lining his shelves. His desk was mostly clear, save for a few more trophies and some pens, but there was a photo in a standing frame that sat on the corner, closest to his bed, that his eyes lingered on for too long.

Yuta reached out to hold it, maybe take the photo out and recycle it, but he hesitated.

“You look good there.” Doyoung’s voice made Yuta startle as he yelped and whipped his head to look down where Doyoung had flipped himself over, looking at Yuta. “Was that last Christmas?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so,” Yuta half-lied. He remembered the exact moment the photo was taken, Taeyong’s face bright with his wide smile, illuminated by the lights of Dotonbori in back of them, and his head on Yuta’s shoulder. Yuta was wearing that red scarf that Taeyong just gifted him, and it matched with Taeyong’s hair at the time. Yuta hadn’t worn that scarf in months.

Doyoung’s eyes flicked between the photo and Yuta, and he sat up to flip the frame down flat on desk so it could no longer be seen. He slinked down from the bed to the futon and started getting comfortable, spooning the sheets that were left for him.

Yuta took his eyes away from the desk to raise an eyebrow at Doyoung’s form, now cuddling the sheets. “Is it naptime?” Doyoung grunted in response and didn’t open his eyes, so Yuta took that as a ‘yes, leave me alone.’ He laid down in his own bed, head softly hitting his freshly cleaned pillows, letting his eyes drift shut.  

 

❄️

 

When he opened his eyes next and checked the time on his phone, it was 7:00 AM and Yuta was alone in his bedroom. One peek over the edge of his bed told him as much, since Doyoung’s futon was folded neatly and pushed to the end of his bed.

He yawned and stretched his body out on his bed before standing. _Why did I sleep for so long,_ he wondered idly to himself before his stomach made a noise so inhuman it made him pause to stare at it. The air wafted the scent of homemade breakfast towards him, so Yuta excitedly made his way to the kitchen.

The site he was greeted with was that of his mother instructing Doyoung what to do and Doyoung doing his best to understand and follow her orders. He was very concentrated on thinly slicing some green onions when Yuta approached him from behind and asked, “What are you guys making?”

Doyoung yelped, nearly dropping his knife in surprise. He turned around to glare at Yuta. “Don’t sneak up on me like that, I could have killed you with this,” he admonished, gesturing to the sharp knife in his hand.

Yuta backed up, hands in the air by his head. “Sorry, you’re right, I’m not trying to die right now. I’m too hungry to die yet.” As if Doyoung needed proof, Yuta’s stomach made another gurgling noise. Yuta patted his tummy and grinned.

Doyoung scoffed and turned back around to keep cutting his green onions. “We slept through dinner last night, of course you’re hungry. I woke up earlier, so I asked if your mom needed any help. I hope this is what she asked me to do,” he mumbled to himself.

 _“Oh, Yuta, good morning. Come help do these dishes since you’re here,”_ Yuta’s mother, Sayuri, said upon seeing her son.

 _“Morning, Mom,”_ Yuta said, approaching the kitchen sink. He noticed Haru sitting at the kitchen table out of the corner of his eye. _“Morning, Haru.”_

 _“Morning,”_ Haru barely muttered, her eyes never leaving the notes in front of her.

“She has a couple of exams left before her break starts,” Doyoung explained.

Yuta hummed in understanding, not dwelling on the pleasant surprise that came with Doyoung knowing more about his sister’s schedule than he did, as he started washing the dishes in the sink and the ones that his mother kept handing him.

The breakfast was simple, something Yuta was so familiar with but hadn’t eaten in a year: broiled mackerel with boiled spinach and egg omelette with rice. He ate more than he usually did, but his mother only encouraged him to eat more.

 _“Why did you sleep so much last night?”_ Sayuri asked.

Before he could answer, Doyoung said, _“He must have been tired from work. He works so much, he…”_ he paused a bit to think of the phrase he was looking for. _“He has no time for me lately.”_ Doyoung pouted at Sayuri, jutting his bottom lip out for full effect.

Yuta nearly rolled his eyes at the exaggeration; it was true, he did work a lot, but he and Doyoung had spent most of the last week together, planning for their trip. When Yuta thought back before the last week, though, he supposed he hadn’t seen Doyoung much. Maybe he had a point.

Sayuri smacked Yuta’s arm, and he winced, rubbing it. _“You have to make time for your boyfriend!”_ she chided. _“Spending time together is important. Which is also why you should come home more often.”_

 _“I know, I know,”_ Yuta drawled. He heard a variation of this every year. _“What’s the plan for today?”_

Sayuri hummed, thinking. _“Well, Haru has her exams today, and she’ll be home by 4:00. I thought we could go to dinner. I know we usually go shopping during the day, but since Haru will be at school and Momo is working…”_

 _“No, that’s okay,”_ Yuta assured on his way to the sink. He washed his dishes and reluctantly took Doyoung’s when he handed them to Yuta. _“I have some work to do anyways, so dinner will be good.”_ He turned back to look at Doyoung, drying his hands on his pants. “Let’s relax today, and then we’ll go out for dinner with my family when Haru comes back. I can take you out to lunch if you want,” he winked.

Doyoung nodded, patting Yuta’s cheek with nearly enough force to be tiny slaps and a smile too teasing to be genuine. “Sure thing, _baby,”_ he said. He turned around to head back into Yuta’s bedroom, thanking Sayuri for the breakfast, leaving Yuta in the kitchen with his cheeks burning, and not from the harsh pats that Doyoung left.

He started to follow Doyoung to his room, intent on tackling him into the ground for the pet name that they did _not_ discuss using, when Sayuri grabbed his arm.

 _“Make sure to thank Doyoung for breakfast, he’s the one who made the fish,”_ she mentioned. _“He cooks and listens well. He’s basically perfect. Marry him already.”_

Yuta chuckled nervously, saying, _“I’ll keep that in mind,”_ as he shook his arm from her grip, barely remembering to wish Haru good luck on her exams on his way out of the kitchen.  

When he walked into his room, he opened his mouth to tell Doyoung that the b-word was off limits (the implications of “babe” and “baby” were _so_ different, and Yuta was _not_ okay with it), but he was cut short when he found Doyoung standing by his desk, holding the photo of him and Taeyong.

Doyoung just held it and stared, a look in his eyes that Yuta couldn’t read, and didn’t notice Yuta was in the room until Yuta was by his side, gently taking the photo from his hands and placing it flat on the desk like Doyoung had done the day before.

Yuta crossed his arms and huffed at the look that Doyoung gave him, like he wanted to ask a question but wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. “What are you looking at, _baby?”_ Yuta asked. He supposed the b-word was okay if he could use it against Doyoung like this.

Doyoung spluttered and stepped back from Yuta. “No fair, I said it first, you can’t claim it now,” he stuttered, cheeks growing increasingly pink.

“What, do you have the word ‘baby’ copyrighted?” Yuta teased. “I have some work to do, so I’ll just be on my bed. Feel free to take my desk, I know you probably have work, too.” He flopped onto his bed and reached to grab his laptop from his bag.

Doyoung stood by his desk, looking like he wanted to say something for a moment, but instead he sat down in Yuta’s chair and dug out his own laptop. The photo lay on Yuta’s desk, forgotten.

 

The rest of their Christmas Eve passed uneventfully; Yuta took Doyoung out to lunch at a nearby restaurant, as promised, and he watched as Doyoung’s eyes shone at his surroundings, at Yuta’s home. The weather was cold, but the sun was out, so they took a walk around the neighborhood and Yuta introduced him to some neighbors. He discovered that Doyoung was much better at charming older people than children, and the discovery made him smile to himself.

Momo ended up coming home from work earlier than expected, and she came and left, dragging Doyoung with her, only quickly saying, “I need him for something, we’ll meet you guys for dinner tonight,” without leaving Yuta or Doyoung any room to protest. Yuta considered following them out, but he trusted Momo enough to not scare Doyoung away.

True to her word, Momo and Doyoung met them at the restaurant at 7:30 PM, and if Doyoung seemed just a bit quieter than usual, Yuta didn’t say anything. He occupied his youngest sister with conversation so Doyoung didn’t have to tire himself out, and they returned home a couple of hours later.

“What did Momo take you out for? Thought that was my job,” Yuta joked after they were both washed up and ready for bed.

Doyoung, who was laying in his futon with his back facing Yuta, only shrugged. “She just asked how you were doing and stuff. Took me shopping for a bit.”

Yuta expected him to elaborate further, go into more detail, but Doyoung remained silent, scrolling on his phone. “Did she say anything weird?” he pressed.

Doyoung paused in his scrolling. “Nothing happened.” He turned his phone off and placed it to the side, laying down fully, indicating he was going to sleep.

Yuta considered asking more questions, since it was obvious to him that _something_ happened and that Doyoung was just lying to him, but he figured if Doyoung didn’t want to tell him then he didn’t have to. Besides, he could investigate more later, if he needed to.

Yuta slept and did his best not to think about it. He wasn’t very successful.

 

❄️

 

Doyoung approached the aquarium with wide, wondrous eyes that sparkled in the morning sun. Any traces of last night’s discomfort were long gone in the presence of the aquarium, and Yuta thanked God that it was open on Christmas day.

Their bus ride ended up being only an hour long, but the morning air was chilly, and Yuta pushed Doyoung from behind, where he was taking pictures of the entrance. “Let’s go in already, I’m cold,” Yuta shivered. Doyoung followed him closely, his head whipping around to take everything in. “You’ll get dizzy from moving your head around so much.”

“Let me have this, old man, I’ve always wanted to come here,” Doyoung snapped back with no real bite. The two of them stood in line to buy their tickets; it was relatively crowded, since it was a holiday, but Yuta supposed it could have been much worse.

“Old man? I’m barely older than you,” Yuta said, belatedly. Doyoung shrugged and continued to look around them. From their place in line, they could already see some of the attractions up ahead, including the tunnel of fish was meant to be walked through. At the sight, Doyoung shook Yuta’s arm excitedly, pointing at the tunnel like a child, no real words forming from his mouth, just some indecipherable shouts.

Yuta placed his hands over Doyoung’s where they squeezed his arm in an attempt to stop the shaking. “Yes, Doyoung, I see the tunnel!” he droned, to no avail. Doyoung was nearly bouncing on his toes, anticipation getting the better of him.

“Why didn’t your family come with us? God, this is so cool,” Doyoung gushed.

Yuta laughed and looped his arm through Doyoung’s to keep him still. “Christmas is basically a couple’s holiday, here,” he explained. “Momo is going out with her fiancé after work and Haru is spending time with her girlfriend at our place. I think Mom’s going to help them make bentos for lunch just so they can eat it while they watch Christmas movies. Besides, I think they’ve all been here before for school trips and stuff, but I guess I was sick for my school trip since I’ve never been.”

Doyoung hummed, calmer after listening to Yuta. “Eating homemade food and watching movies sounds like a good date.”

“Do you wish we did that instead?” Yuta raised an eyebrow at him.

Doyoung shook his head fervently, making Yuta laugh. “Thought so,” Yuta quipped. When they reached the front of the line, Yuta handed the staff the tickets he bought beforehand. She gave the two of them small, cute stamps on their hands in the shape of a sea otter and let them enter the aquarium.

Immediately, Yuta felt himself being dragged by Doyoung towards the tunnel. It was filled with people, but Yuta hardly noticed as he looked above him at the fish swimming over his head and the light filtering in through the water. His eyes flitted around from the sharks to the rays, and he found himself reaching for Doyoung’s arm to grab his attention.

“Look at how big the ray is!” Yuta exclaimed. The stingray looked as if it flew over their heads, its shadow covering the two of them, and Yuta looked back at Doyoung with wide eyes. “I didn’t know they could be so huge!”

“Right!” Doyoung shouted back, eyes just as wide, with a smile that nearly split his face in half. The two of them lingered in the tunnel a bit, Yuta pointing to a big shark that Doyoung was glad was behind glass and some more colorful fish that passed them by.

Eventually, the two exited the tunnel on the other side and Doyoung pulled out the map he had retrieved at the entrance. Yuta looked over his shoulder to view it and jabbed his finger excitedly at the otter caricature by the “Japan Forest” exhibit and the seals at the “Monterey Bay,” and ended up pulling Doyoung towards them. In turn, Doyoung was the one pulling Yuta towards the “Antarctica” and “Great Barrier Reef” exhibits, and somehow they _both_ dragged each other towards the jellyfish.

Hours later, the two of them stood in the “Pacific Ocean” exhibit, which was an enormous, floor to ceiling tank. They stood at the glass, looking up with wide eyes at the whale shark that swam slowly, back and forth. It swam lower and lower, enough so that Yuta could look at the animal in the eye.

“Oh my God, I think we just had some sort of connection,” Yuta whispered, breathless.

Doyoung barked out a laugh. “What are you, Aquaman?”

“I don’t know! I could be!” Yuta returned. He faced the tank again, and pointed. “The rays in here are bigger than in the tunnel. You could ride on that one’s back,” he commented.

Doyoung hummed next to him, taking in the sight. Yuta turned his head slightly to look at him, and saw Doyoung’s relaxed features filled with wonder, the reflection of the water and the whale shark in his eyes, his lips parted just slightly. The tip of his nose and cheeks were tinted with the same shade of pink as his lips from the cold air and all the running around they had done. Not that Yuta was paying attention.

He didn’t know how long he’d been holding Doyoung’s hand. He hadn’t even noticed until just then.

Yuta made no move to let go, though, only gripped Doyoung’s hand a bit tighter. It was a bad move, apparently, since Doyoung looked down to see their hands intertwined, and he let go like he had been burned.

“S-sorry,” he stammered. “Uh, don’t know how that happened.” Doyoung’s blush deepened as he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets.

Yuta shook his head. “It’s fine, really.” Unsure of what to do with his hands, he fished his phone out of his pocket to check his messages.

“No, it’s—I know we’re only supposed to put on an act in front of your family. There’s no need to if they’re not here,” Doyoung continued, his voice getting quieter with each word.

At that, Yuta looked back up from his phone. Doyoung wasn’t facing him or the tank in front of him, his eyes trained on his shoes, refusing to look Yuta in the eye.

Yuta took his chin with his fingers to turn Doyoung’s face towards him. Ignoring the surprise on Doyoung’s face by the action, Yuta said, “I don’t mind it. Seriously, I only mind if you do.” He let go of Doyoung’s chin, fingers trailing lightly down his jaw and arm until they found their way into Doyoung’s jacket pocket, interlocking with Doyoung’s again. “Anyways, your hand is warm and I forgot my gloves.”

Doyoung chewed on the inside of his cheek, and Yuta could tell he was holding back a smile. He turned his head back towards the water, and Yuta grinned brightly, stepping closer.

It was nearing 7:00 PM by the time they left the aquarium, so the lights in the front of the building were lit up in the dark. Doyoung marveled at the lights for a moment before following Yuta back towards the bus stop, but Yuta stopped in his tracks, making Doyoung confused.

“Actually, I almost forgot,” Yuta said. The confusion on Doyoung’s face didn’t let up, so Yuta dug into his pocket and pulled out a small box. “Merry Christmas!” He smiled brightly and handed the box to Doyoung.

Doyoung accepted it with wide eyes, his mouth opening in shock. He opened the lid of the box delicately, and inside sat a thin, loose bracelet with a metal whale shark charm and a mistletoe charm. With lithe fingers, Doyoung gently lifted it out of the box and immediately clipped it onto his wrist. “When did you even get this?” he nearly whispered, voice peppered with awe.

Yuta couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. “When I ‘went to the bathroom’ earlier. Do you like it? You seemed to like the whale shark a lot, also I thought the mistletoe was Christmas-like, so I thought—“

“It’s amazing,” Doyoung said sincerely, eyes shining with the lights of the aquarium behind him. “Really, Yuta, I love it so much. Thank you.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small box of his own to hand to Yuta. “I was actually going to give this to you at home, but here is okay too,” he grinned.

Yuta cocked his head to the side as he accepted the gift. “You didn’t have to get me anything, I’m the one who dragged you all the way to Osaka for Christmas,” he said, even though he was still smiling.

Doyoung rolled his eyes. “Just open it,” he told Yuta.

So Yuta listened, popping the top off of the box to find a bracelet, the chain nearly identical to the one he got for Doyoung. Instead of charms, though, was a slim, metal plaque that read his name in Japanese with a jewel embedded next to it. On the backside read the date: _12_ _月_ _25_ _日２０１８．_

Yuta clipped it onto his own wrist and continued to stare at it, taking in its beauty. “When did _you_ have time to get this?” he asked Doyoung, finally looking him in the eye.

He was met with Doyoung looking fondly at him, fiddling with his new bracelet that Yuta just gave him. “I told you I went shopping with your sister yesterday. The jewel is your birthstone, opal. Did you even know that?”

“I definitely didn’t, but it’s gorgeous,” Yuta admitted, taking another look at the birthstone. It was a pale mix of blue and pink, and Yuta loved it. “Thank you.” Doyoung grinned happily and nodded, running his thumb over the charms of his bracelet just as Yuta ran his thumb over the jewel of his. He retrieved his phone from his pocket and turned the camera on, telling Doyoung, “Let’s take a picture with them!”

In the darkness of the night, Yuta could still see the lights of the aquarium bouncing off of the charms of Doyoung’s bracelet and his birthstone, but he thought that the brightest thing in the photo was Doyoung’s wide smile as he held up his bracelet-clad wrist next to his face and leaned his cold cheek against Yuta’s.

 

❄️

 

The next day consisted of eating leftovers for breakfast (thanks to Haru, her girlfriend, and Sayuri), and spending the whole day at Dotonbori as per Doyoung’s wishes. They ate too much food and Doyoung bought so many souvenirs, he had to purchase another suitcase to carry them home in. Doyoung attempted to polish his Japanese with Haru and Sayuri, only turning to Yuta a handful of times for help.

He kept Yuta’s bracelet on for the whole day, only taking it off when he slept at night, and the action didn’t go unnoticed by Yuta. He wore his own bracelet throughout the day as well, running his thumb over the plaque every time Doyoung smiled his way.

 

On the 27th, the day before Yuta and Doyoung were supposed to fly back to Korea, Yuta took Doyoung to visit Osaka Castle. The cherry blossoms weren’t in bloom since it was winter, but it was beautiful nonetheless, and Doyoung told Yuta as much.

“It’s nice, right? Here, let me take a picture of you,” Yuta offered. Doyoung stopped snapping pictures on his own phone as Yuta took out his. Doyoung placed both of his hands on the straps of his backpack and grinned cutely, the castle in the background making for a perfect backdrop.

Yuta took about twenty photos, his thumb continuously clicking the shutter button on his phone as Doyoung moved in various poses increasing in ridiculousness. When Yuta finally stopped, the two of them laughed together. “I’ll send these to you later,” Yuta said through giggles. He handed Doyoung his phone so he could look through the photos, which only made Doyoung laugh harder.

“Look at my face in this one! Why can’t you take photos of me looking better?” Doyoung asked, breathless. He held Yuta’s phone up, revealing a photo where his arms and legs were blurry from movement, and Doyoung’s eyes were squinted shut in laughter. His smile was wide, cheeks all scrunched up, and the wind caused his brown hair to fly up, exposing his forehead.

“Hey, I take great photos. You look adorable here,” Yuta said, snatching his phone back. To prove his point, he made the photo his lockscreen. “There, now everyone can see how cute you are.”

When he looked back up, Doyoung’s eyes were locked onto his. He looked away quickly when Yuta noticed, and began fidgeting with his bracelet. “Maybe you shouldn’t,” he said softly. “People back home will really think we’re dating.”

Yuta blinked, eyes drifting back to his phone. _That’s okay with me,_ Yuta thought briefly, but he shook it off, saying instead, “Ah, you’re probably right.” He stared at his phone for a moment before he put it back into his pocket, leaving his lockscreen as it was. “Well, it’s fine for now, right?” He looked back at Doyoung, just to make sure it was alright with him.

Doyoung looked back at him, silent, before he grinned. Yuta noticed that it didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it wasn’t fake, either. “Sure,” Doyoung answered. He began walking towards the castle, saying, “Come on, I want to get a closer look.”

Yuta followed him, hand itching to hold Doyoung’s, but he kept his hand in his pocket instead.

 

When the two of them returned home, Doyoung got a phone call, so Yuta left him his bedroom for privacy. They ate dinner at home for their last meal with Yuta’s family, and when Yuta went to retrieve Doyoung from his bedroom, he could have sworn his eyes were lined lightly with red.

He opened his mouth to say something, ask about it, but he didn’t. “Dinner is ready,” he said instead.

Doyoung nodded minutely and followed him to the kitchen. He made conversation with Yuta’s family and ate well, but Yuta could tell he was fiddling nervously with his bracelet under the table occasionally. He was also having more trouble following conversations and understanding questions, pursing his lips more often and asking Haru, _“One more time, please,”_ every time he didn’t understand something she said, and Yuta knew it was a sign that his mind was elsewhere.

After dinner, Doyoung excused himself to take a bath before Yuta, so Yuta used the opportunity to have the bedroom for himself.

His he sat on his bed, finger hesitating over the call button of his phone. Before he could change his mind, he hit “call” and listened to the phone on the other line ring.

Yuta only waited for a handful of rings before Taeyong picked up. “Hello? Yuta?” Taeyong’s soft voice filtered through Yuta’s grainy phone speaker. “Aren’t you in Osaka?” A bit of rustling on the other end told Yuta that Taeyong probably moved from his living room to his bedroom. When he heard the click of a door, Taeyong asked, “Is everything okay?”

Yuta didn’t say anything for a moment, and Taeyong didn’t press until Yuta spoke. “Have you and Doyoung been in contact while we’ve been in Osaka?” Yuta asked, voice quiet in case Doyoung could somehow hear from the bath.

“Not much,” Taeyong answered. “He’s mostly just sent me some photos since he said you guys were pretty busy. Is something wrong with him?” he asked, voice rising in concern.

“Everything’s okay, I think,” Yuta quickly assured. “He just seemed a little off today. I mean, we had a good time earlier. I took him to see Osaka Castle, and he was mostly normal, but he got a phone call before dinner. I think it made him distracted, he didn’t really seem like he was all there during dinner,” he relayed, thinking about Doyoung’s nervous fidgeting and lapse in focus.

“Do you know who called?”

“I didn’t ask,” Yuta said, biting his lip. “Do you think something happened? Should I talk to him about it? I didn’t want to bother him in case he didn’t want me to know, but I don’t want him to feel upset, either,” he rambled, drumming his fingers against his thigh.

Taeyong was silent on the other end. Yuta was about to check if he was still there, but Taeyong spoke up before he could. “Do you know why Jaehyun broke up with Doyoung?” he asked suddenly.

Yuta blinked. “No, Doyoung never told me much about their relationship. Honestly, he hardly talked about Jaehyun at all,” he admitted. 

Taeyong hummed. “Maybe you should ask him at some point.” A pause. “And listen, I know you think you can treat Doyoung like he’s dispensable, but—”

“ _Huh?_ ” Yuta said incredulously. “Dispensable? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” Taeyong pressed. “You’re just going to dump him when you come back from Osaka. Isn’t that your plan?”

Yuta brought his eyebrows together, eyes wide at the harshness of Taeyong’s tone. “We were never really dating,” he insisted through the constricting in his chest. “It was fake from the start. Doyoung knows that, it’s what he agreed to.”

“Is it really fake?” Taeyong asked, skepticism evident even through the phone. “I saw the bracelet you got him for Christmas, Yuta. He sent me pictures. That’s not something you get for a _fake_ boyfriend.” He paused, and Yuta could hear him sigh heavily, though it was hard from him to hear anything over the pounding of his heart. “Doyoung isn’t just doing this as a favor, or to get anything in return,” Taeyong said, voice level. “He’s doing it because he really cares for you. If you’re really just going to break it all off when you come back, you better cut it out with the sappy gift-giving. That’s not what Doyoung deserves.

“He deserves better.”

The silence rang eerily in Yuta’s bedroom before he barked out a harsh, ugly laugh. “You don’t get to lecture me about _deserving better._ You have no idea what that means,” he seethed through gritted teeth.

Yuta hung up the call before Taeyong could say anything back, throwing his phone onto his bed and pulling his knees up to his chest.

 

* * *

 

“You deserve better.”

 _Bullshit,_ Yuta thought, grinning bitterly at the memory.

The breakup wasn’t dramatic, and it was mutual, even though Yuta would have never thought of breaking up. His relationship with Taeyong had been okay. It wasn’t awful, Yuta had definitely been through much worse, but it wasn’t necessarily good either. He could tell that Taeyong’s heart wasn’t in it anymore, even if he still acted like it was, and Yuta should have said something, but instead he played along.

He wouldn’t admit it to himself, and he still doesn’t, but there was a part of him that had a bit of hope that Taeyong would try to reignite his spark for Yuta. The hope was rekindled every time Taeyong came home from work a bit earlier than usual to spend time with him, or when he cooked him his favorite food. Yuta could pretend that Taeyong’s true feelings weren’t so transparent if it meant he still got those moments. Maybe Yuta was selfish, but if Taeyong never said anything, Yuta didn’t have to know. Instead, he left his heart in Taeyong’s hands.

It’s not like Yuta was fragile, anyways. He could take it.

Yuta might not still be bitter about it if Taeyong hadn’t left with a parting, “You deserve better.” Yuta heard that, and it _hurt._ If Taeyong truly believed that, and if he really loved Yuta, he would have _tried harder,_ would have _been better._ But he hadn’t tried, he hadn’t been better, he only left with a _lie_ instead of just telling Yuta the truth: the feelings weren’t as strong anymore and the relationship was doing more harm than good.

It hurt Yuta because before they were boyfriends, they were _friends._ They were best friends who had leaned on each other for support and built each other up from nothing before their feelings for each other became a part of it, and for Taeyong to think that giving Yuta a lie instead of the truth was the way to end that—Yuta was offended. He felt betrayed that Taeyong would think so little of him, of _them,_ of all that they’d been through together and all that they were.

Yuta was never perfect, never claimed to be, but he was always honest.

 

In the midst of that, Yuta realized, was Doyoung.

Doyoung had always been Taeyong’s best friend since childhood, and Yuta hadn’t met Doyoung until after college anyways, so Yuta hadn’t expected Doyoung to present himself to Yuta anytime soon. Besides, Yuta had told Taeyong with a scoff,“Don’t contact me. If you ever want us to be friends or something again, wait for me to talk to you.”

It was hostile, and a bit spiteful, but Yuta had been so hurt, that the words left his mouth of their own accord. Yuta hadn’t regretted it, as he needed time away from Taeyong anyways, but the spite was a wall. Taeyong’s lie made him miserable, and every time Yuta tried to deny it, Ten would be there to tell him, “It’s okay. He hurt you. It’s okay.”

Ten visited frequently in the days after the breakup to check in, to hold him close when Yuta needed it, to let Yuta say whatever he wanted to say. He mentioned, briefly, that Doyoung had asked about him, but Yuta didn’t pay that any mind. Doyoung probably only asked so he could laugh and joke about how Yuta was being too sensitive about a relationship that wasn’t even that great. Yuta thought the scorn would be justified.

About a week after the breakup, Yuta woke up to the sound of his door opening and closing. He assumed it was Ten, but his clock read 3:15 PM, so Ten should have been at work.

He shouted from his bed, voice slightly muffled by his pillow, “You should be at work, stupid.”

After a few moments, he heard movement in the doorway of his room, and saw Doyoung standing there, one of his eyebrows raised in amusement. “I don’t work on Tuesdays,” he stated casually.

Yuta took a few seconds to blink stupidly before he sat up, ignoring for the moment that his only article of clothing on was boxer briefs, to ask, “Why are you here? Did Ten ask you to come?” He tried to hide the vulnerability in his voice, but he was too tired to hide it anymore.

Doyoung had just stood silent for a second before he shook his head. “I did take his key, but he didn’t ask me to come. Just wanted to see you.”

If there was an underlying tone of concern in Doyoung’s voice, Yuta couldn’t hear it behind the sheer genuineness in which Doyoung had said it. Before he could say anything else, Doyoung had walked away from the doorway. When Yuta dressed himself and followed him out, Doyoung was already settled on his couch, trying to pick a movie on Yuta’s TV.

“I left some soup on the stove. It’s already heated up. Did you wanna join me?”

 

* * *

 

 

“Yuta?”

The sound of Doyoung’s voice in the doorway caused Yuta to look up at him over his knees.

Whatever Doyoung saw made his eyes widen, and he quickly shut the bedroom door behind him to rush over to where Yuta sat in the middle of his bed. He cupped Yuta’s face in his palms, using his thumbs to brush against his cheeks. “What happened? Why are you crying?” he asked, alarmed.

Yuta sniffed and brought his arm to wipe at his wet eyes. He hadn’t even realized he was crying. “I’m fine,” he insisted, bringing his arm away from his face.

Doyoung kept wiping away stray tears with his thumbs as he simultaneously gave Yuta a look that said “I don’t believe you.”

“Alright, I’m not fine,” Yuta grumbled, sniffling again. He took a few breaths and exhaled slowly, letting himself relax in Doyoung’s hands. “I had a fight with Taeyong.” The words made him wince. “Wow, haven’t said that in a hot minute.”

“More like a year,” Doyoung said, quirking his head slightly to the side, eyebrows slanted upwards in confusion. “Is everything okay? Why were you talking to Taeyong?” He moved one of his hands to rest on the side of Yuta’s neck, his other hand still stroking Yuta’s cheek in a soothing rhythm.

Yuta’s eyes fluttered shut from the comfort. He was so tired. “It’s okay now,” he nearly whispered. “I’m better now—” _Now that you’re here._ Yuta’s heart stuttered painfully. “I’m better now,” he repeated. His eyes opened again to look at Doyoung and found the expression he was so familiar with: concern, understanding, _warmth._ It was the same expression Doyoung wore almost a year ago, with his homemade soups and his feigned nonchalance.

“I just realized I never thanked you,” he blurted suddenly.

Doyoung cocked his head further to the side, letting his hands fall to the bed. Yuta missed their presence immediately. “For what?” Doyoung asked.

“Taking care of me after—you know.” Yuta gestured vaguely with his hands. “Taeyong. I really needed it,” he told Doyoung. “Actually, I thought you would be laughing at how hard I was taking it. Instead, you kept showing up at my house with food. And anime.” Yuta snorted to himself. “You don’t even _like_ anime.”

But Doyoung only shook his head. “Laughing? Yuta, I would never laugh at you for being hurt. I don’t know exactly what happened, but you’re allowed to feel that way,” he assured strongly, taking one of Yuta’s hands in his to squeeze gently. “It’s not like breakups are ever fun, either,” he shrugged.

Yuta chuckled lightly. “That’s true.” He looked down to where their hands were locked together, moving his fingers to link with Doyoung’s slowly. His eyes travelled back up to Doyoung’s face, and he realized how close they were to each other. He felt Doyoung’s soft breath on his lips, but he didn’t move away. He didn’t want to.

Yuta felt his body start to inch closer to Doyoung’s of its own accord when he heard a gentle knock on his door, startling him out of his reverie.

 _“Yuta?”_ Momo’s voice filtered softly into the room. _“Is it okay if I talk to you for a bit?”_

Yuta looked from the door back to Doyoung, whose face was still just as close, before slowly moving to answer the door, his fingers letting go of Doyoung’s.

Doyoung gave him a small grin and a thumbs up when Yuta turned back to look at him from the doorway, so Yuta smiled back at him thankfully and exited his room.

It was late, so Haru and Sayuri were already in their bedrooms, leaving Momo and Yuta as the only ones out. They sat at the kitchen table, Momo sitting across from Yuta.

 _“What’s up?”_ Yuta prompted. He shivered minutely and wished that he had brought a blanket with him. 

Momo crossed her arms on the table and looked at Yuta. _“I… know. About you and Doyoung,”_ she confessed.

Yuta felt panic begin to bubble up inside of him, but he did his best to cover it up. _“About what?”_ he stuttered, knowing it was useless. He should have known that he couldn’t have fooled his older sister; she was always able to read him like an open book.

 _“I know you two aren’t really dating,”_ she answered anyways, looking apologetic. _“I suspected it since I saw you two at the airport, and Doyoung confirmed it for me on Christmas Eve when I took him shopping.”_ Momo looked sheepish about the admission, as if she was the one trying to fool Yuta. _“Sorry I didn’t say anything about it sooner. I kept thinking that you were going to tell me at some point, but you never did, and you’re leaving tomorrow morning, so…”_

 _“No, I’m sorry,”_ Yuta said guiltily. He curled his hands into fists on top of his thighs, not looking Momo in the eye. _“I shouldn’t have lied. How much did Doyoung tell you?”_ he asked.

Momo grinned sheepishly again. _“Basically everything. I understand why you brought him, though.”_

Yuta chanced a look at his sister. _“I just didn’t want Haru and Mom to keep asking me about Taeyong,”_ he admitted. _“Mom would always talk about him, even after we broke up, I didn’t—I wasn’t sure if I could handle it in person. It’s just so tiring._ He’s _so tiring.”_ Yuta had tried so many times before to remember his relationship with Taeyong as anything other than taxing, but any thought of Taeyong made Yuta want to immediately curl up in bed.

Momo hummed. _“I understand that. But…”_ She leaned forward slightly to look at Yuta more closely. _“Is that the only reason you asked Doyoung to come?”_

Yuta looked confusedly at her. _“What do you mean?”_

Momo leaned back in her seat again and folded her arms across her chest, drumming her fingers against her arm as she thought. _“I could tell that you two weren’t dating, because your actions ‘as a couple’ seemed staged,”_ she explained. _“But you two still flowed so naturally together. It’s in the way you two speak to each other and interact, and if you could see the way you look at him…”_ Momo trailed off, her eyes drifting back to Yuta’s. _“I’m just asking if you really want to leave all of this behind once you go back to Seoul.”_

The statement left Yuta winded, like the floor was pulled out from underneath him. He _knew,_ he was the one who proposed the idea from the start. He had always known that their arrangement was only temporary and that he and Doyoung were supposed to go back to the way things were before they ever came to Osaka together.

He knew this, and yet—

 _“Think about it, please. Figure out what you want, and don’t cause Doyoung any unnecessary hurt,”_ Momo told him. She stood from her seat and walked around the table, placing her hand on Yuta’s shoulder before heading to her bedroom.

Yuta sat there for some time before he made his way to the bath to wash up, all the while thinking of Momo’s words.

When he made his way back to his bedroom, he hesitated in front of the door. His mind was a jumbled mess of mismatched thoughts that he couldn’t piece together, and he knew if he tried, he would probably end up saying something stupid.

He opened the door, intent on just going to bed and maybe talking to Doyoung in the morning before their flight. He didn’t expect to find Doyoung asleep on Yuta’s bed where they were sitting earlier.

Doyoung was lying on his side, facing the door, and Yuta could see his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. He could see the way Doyoung’s eyelashes fanned lightly over his closed eyes, his small lips parted just slightly.

Yuta thought about Doyoung fiddling with his bracelet throughout the day, the way his eyes widened in wonder of his city, the way his eyebrows furrowed when he wanted to understand exactly what Yuta’s little sister was saying, the way his laugh echoed until he was reduced to breathless giggles, the way he dedicated so much of his time to learn Japanese so he could speak to his family, the way his smile brightened up his whole face in front of the whale shark at the aquarium, and—

 _Oh,_ Yuta realized in the calm of the winter night and his heart beating softly in his ears.

 _Oh._  

 

❄️

 

The two of them flew back to Seoul the next day, sent off with hugs and food from Yuta’s family, and a look from Momo that Yuta did his best to avoid.

When they landed back home, Yuta gave Doyoung a promise to send him the pictures he took, all the while trying to ignore the way Doyoung looked at him like he was expecting more.

They took separate taxis back to their apartments. Yuta was greeted to an empty home since Johnny was at work, too quiet for all of the noise in his head, so he left his luggage untouched as he collapsed into his bed.

 

❄️

 

Three days later, on December 31st, Ten barged into his apartment with a voice too loud for Yuta’s sleep riddled brain.

“You’re ignoring me,” Ten announced in the doorway to Yuta’s bedroom.

Yuta only brought his sheets over his head in response. “Am not,” he retorted weakly, his voice muffled by the blankets. “I saw you yesterday.”

Ten scoffed. “Only because I broke into your apartment to make sure you’ve been eating. Johnny says you’re still not, by the way, and that’s not allowed.” He brought himself over to Yuta’s bed to sit down by Yuta’s body, still covered by the sheets. “Ignoring everyone isn’t allowed, either. I’ve given you three days to tell me what’s got you feeling like this, but you still haven’t told me jack shit, so now I’m here to force you to tell me. You’re acting like you’re going through a breakup, Yuta, what happened?” he asked bluntly.

Yuta could hear the worry in his voice, though, so he slowly peeled the sheets down under his eyes until he could see Ten. “I _feel_ like I went through a breakup,” he confessed meekly, quietly.

“With who?” Ten asked with a look that told Yuta he already knew but wanted to hear Yuta say it.

Yuta wasn’t sure he was ready to say it, but he braced himself, held his breath, and counted to three in his head. On the exhale, he breathed out, “Doyoung,” and pulled his sheets back up over his face.

“I know,” Ten said immediately. “Please explain. I thought this was the plan all along, it wasn’t supposed to break your heart.”

“I _know,_ ” Yuta groaned, pulling his sheets back down, frustrated. “I don’t—it wasn’t—he—ugh.”

“Use your words. Take your time.”

“We were just supposed to have a good time,” Yuta whined, settling on saying whatever came to his mind. “It wasn’t supposed to be _real,_ but I realized way too late that it definitely was real, but it was _way_ too late, so then we just came home and everything ended like it was supposed to, but I didn’t _want_ it to end!” he shouted, voice increasing in volume. He was sitting up and didn’t realize when he had moved to sit up, but it made it easier for him to gesticulate wildly as he spoke. “And then my sister made me rethink, like, everything I ever knew—she thinks just because she’s a child behavior research specialist that she can just know everything about me that I don’t even know, and I guess she’s right! I guess I love Doyoung and want to hold his stupid hands and kiss his stupid mouth, but he’s not stupid, _I’m_ stupid, he’s actually the perfect love of my life—”

“Okay buddy, let’s slow down,” Ten said with a placating hand on Yuta’s bare shoulder. “A lot to unpack here.” He rubbed Yuta’s shoulder until Yuta was no longer huffing heavily. “So, you found out you have feelings for Doyoung while he was your fake boyfriend. Why don’t you just ask him on a real date now?”

Yuta stared at Ten like he just grew another head. “You tell me how I’m supposed to just ask him out on a date now after he just spent five days thinking everything about the time we spent in Osaka wasn’t real?” Yuta fell back onto his back, his head hitting his pillow. He let his arm fall over his eyes, exasperated. “Doyoung was expecting this all to be over by the time we came back to Seoul, and now we’re back. It’s done now. That’s it,” he said, the finality of it sinking into the pit of his stomach, making him feel uneasy.

Ten lifted Yuta’s arm away from his eyes and leaned down so their faces were inches apart. “Listen, I’m telling you this as your friend, but also as Doyoung’s friend: you need to talk to him.” He sat back up and leaned his weight back against his hands. “Doyoung has been moping around the apartment for days because your phone is off and you haven’t returned any of his messages. He’s _so_ sad, Yuta, he won’t even talk to Taeyong about what’s bothering him. The least you could do for him is clear the air and talk it out, I can guarantee that you’ll feel better.”

“… can I get a refund if you end up being wrong?” Yuta asked.

Ten threw a pillow at Yuta’s face. “I will pay for all of our meals for a _year._ Just listen to me, okay? You don’t have to talk to him right now, but sooner would be better.”

Yuta slowly moved the pillow off of his face and moved to hug it to his chest instead. “Fine. Soon. I’ll talk to him soon.”

“Good boy,” Ten said, patting his cheek lightly, with a relieved grin.

 

Yuta did not think that soon meant that same night.

He awoke from his (very late night) nap to the sounds of rustling in the kitchen. The time on his phone read 11:30 PM; Yuta knew that Ten and Johnny would both be busy at Taeyong’s apartment since Ten had said so himself earlier, so Yuta threw on a random T-shirt he found in his drawers (that was probably Johnny’s since it was so huge on Yuta’s narrow shoulders) to investigate the noise in the kitchen.

He nearly turned around and went back to bed when he saw Doyoung heating up soup on his stove, but Doyoung saw him before he could turn around.

They stared at each other for a moment too long before Doyoung said, “Ten told me you weren’t eating. I can tell he was right, you’ve lost weight,” he frowned.

Yuta looked down at his body and brought his fingers to his cheeks to find that his cheekbones were a bit more pronounced than usual. Instead of commenting on it, he muttered, “You didn’t have to come. I know you’re having a party at your apartment tonight.”

Doyoung shrugged, stirring the soup with a spoon from Yuta’s kitchen that he always used as he removed it from the heat. “I wasn’t in the mood anyways.” Leaving the soup on the stove, he approached Yuta with long strides, causing Yuta to back up until his back hit the wall behind him. His head connected with the wall, but Yuta couldn’t think about the dull pain he felt when Doyoung’s face was so close to his.

From this close up, Yuta could see all the details of Doyoung’s face, like the dark circles under his eyes that appeared darker than usual and the blatant disappointment in his expression.

“You…” Doyoung started but didn’t finish. He sighed, backing up a bit, giving Yuta a chance to breathe again. “Can you just tell me what’s going on?” he nearly pleaded, voice heavy with exhaustion.

Yuta swallowed dryly. He didn’t feel ready to talk about this. “I don’t know,” he lied weakly.

“Your phone has been off for days, you’re in bed all the time, and you’re not even eating. Please give me something better than ‘I don’t know,’” Doyoung demanded, voice shaking.

Yuta caught movement in the corner of his eye and looked down to find Doyoung’s fingers fiddling with his bracelet. He rolled the whale shark charm in between his fingers anxiously, and Ten’s words flashed through his mind: _“The least you could do for him is clear the air and talk it out.”_

“I’m scared,” Yuta whispered. He bit his bottom lip and chewed on it nervously after letting the admission out in the open.

Doyoung ducked his head so he could look Yuta in the eye, like he was speaking to a child. “Of what?” Doyoung pushed lightly.

Yuta thought about the photo of him and Taeyong from a year ago, he thought of the photo of him and Doyoung with their bracelets just a few days ago. “Everything _,_ ” he answered, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

Doyoung lifted Yuta’s chin with his fingers gently. “It’s just me,” he said.

Yuta huffed out a breathy laugh. “That’s what’s so scary.” He moved his head away from Doyoung’s fingers and wiped harshly at his eyes with his palms in an attempt to collect himself. Without moving his hands away from his eyes, he said, “I don’t know how to give you everything after I’ve already taken it all away.”

There was silence between them for a moment, save for Yuta’s soft sniffling. “I dated Jaehyun for six months,” Doyoung said suddenly.

Yuta slowly took his hands away from his face to look at Doyoung. “I met him through work,” Doyoung continued. “He was nice, and hot, so I said yes when he asked me out. And we had a good time together, but he broke it off a little over a month ago.” He paused to look at Yuta. “He called me a few days ago, during our last day in Osaka.”

Yuta’s eyes widened and he drew a sharp breath.

Doyoung took that as a sign to keep going. “He said he missed me and asked if I would consider getting back together. Do you want to know what I told him?” he asked.

Yuta clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth as he stared at Doyoung, who didn’t wait for an answer from him. “I told him I’d get back to him,” he stated. “I figured… I convinced myself that the guy I was _actually_ obsessed with would never see me as anything more than a fake boyfriend,” he said, voice wavering.

Yuta stopped breathing altogether, but Doyoung kept speaking. “So I thought that getting back together with Jaehyun might not be a bad idea since we were just going to come back to Seoul and pretend nothing had ever happened. But when I saw you on your bed, crying, and I held your face in my hands, I _knew…_ ” Yuta watched as tears dripped down Doyoung’s cheeks and onto the floor. “I knew I was never going to love Jaehyun like I love you,” he finished, voice breaking with a sob.

Doyoung wiped uselessly at his eyes with the loose ends of the arms of his sweater as he hiccupped softly. “I-I met up with Jaehyun the day we landed in Seoul and told him as much,” he confessed. “Since he deserved to know. The reason he broke up with me in the first place was because he could tell my heart wasn’t in it. But you never called, you didn’t text, and it hurt, even though I _knew_ it was only supposed to be temporary, it hurt so much,” Doyoung cried, tears starting to soak his sweater.

Yuta watched as Doyoung kept sniffling and wiping his eyes before he took Doyoung’s hands in his, holding them gently away from his face. “How long?” Yuta whispered.

Doyoung sniffed. “Since—since Taeyong. Maybe longer.” He paused. “Probably longer.” He tried to bring his hands back to his face, but Yuta held them tight. Doyoung let himself relax in Yuta’s hold. “I’m sorry I never said anything, I didn’t want to say anything, not after—not when you were already in so much pain.”

Yuta thought about Doyoung bringing food to him on the days when he couldn’t get out of bed until 3:00 PM just so they could eat and watch anime together, even though Doyoung had never shown interest in anime before. He thought about the times Doyoung would visit him in his apartment instead of making Yuta go to his apartment before he was ready to see Taeyong again. He thought about all of the time he spent focusing on getting over Taeyong while Doyoung was right by his side, waiting for the day he would walk forward instead of staying in place.

Yuta stood, with Doyoung’s hands in his, marveling at the strength of Doyoung’s heart after all this time.

Doyoung spoke up when the silence became too much for him. “Taeyong, he—he knows. He’s known longer than I have.” He pursed his lips, thinking. “I’m not sure if it matters to you, but he says he’s sorry about the phone call the other night. He also thinks we’d be good for each other, he basically gives us his blessing, but like I said, I’m not sure if you care—”

One of Yuta’s hands flew to the back of Doyoung’s head so he could push his face down to his, bringing him close. He stood still for a moment, giving Doyoung a chance to back out. When he didn’t, Yuta looked into Doyoung’s eyes and let his own slip close as he closed the distance between the two of them.

The kiss was slow and soft, Yuta reveling in the feeling of Doyoung’s plush lips against his. Doyoung pulled back to look at Yuta with half-lidded eyes before reconnecting their lips again, kissing him over and over until Yuta’s lips tingled from the sensation. Yuta only pushed Doyoung’s face closer, with a hand in his hair, kissing Doyoung deeply with all the things he wished he could say.

Eventually, Yuta did pull back only to lean forward and hug Doyoung, his hand never leaving his hair. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into the warm skin of Doyoung’s neck. “And, you too. I love you too, and I’m sorry I didn’t notice earlier.”

He felt Doyoung’s arms wrap around his middle to hold him tight. His breath tickled Yuta’s ear, and Yuta shivered, pulling his head back so he could kiss Doyoung again to make up for every time should have been kissing him: the aquarium, in front of Osaka Castle, on his bed after he’d been crying.

In between kisses, Yuta felt Doyoung smiling against his lips. “What is it?” he asked, grinning as well.

Doyoung pressed feather light kisses to Yuta’s cheeks, the tip of his nose, his forehead, his lips. “Remember when you said you’d do anything if I agreed to go to Osaka with you?”

Yuta hummed his affirmation against Doyoung’s kisses. “Have you decided what you want from me?” he smirked at him.

Doyoung placed one last kiss on his lips, right as the clock on Yuta’s wall hit midnight, before resting his forehead against Yuta’s, grinning breathlessly. “Take me back to Osaka next year.”


	2. ０１月０８日２０１９

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ["夜明けの間、 ただ眼を見ていた　//　淡い色の瞳だ"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ppe8Xhl8qA)

“I want you to do something for me.”

“And what’s that?”

“You know the red scarf that Taeyong gave you for Christmas? Do you still have it?”

A pause. “I haven’t worn it in a while, but yeah. I still have it.”

“I want you to start wearing it again. And I want you to start using that mug with the cat on it that I know he gave you for your birthday a few years ago. And I want you wear that necklace that he gave you on your graduation day. And _maybe_ I even want you to keep that cute picture of you guys at Christmas. I want you to do all of that and for it to not hurt anymore—do you get what I’m trying to say?”

Yuta rolled over in bed so he was lying on his side, facing Doyoung. He looked into his eyes and saw determination, but the nervous chew of his bottom lip betrayed Doyoung’s anxiousness at the request.

But Yuta took Doyoung’s hand in his, warmth blooming in his chest as he caught his drift. “Yes, I think I do,” he mumbled gently, placing a soft kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead.

 

❄️

 

Yuta knocked on the door of Taeyong, Ten, and Doyoung’s shared apartment. He knew Taeyong would be home alone (he knew all of their schedules like he knew his own), so he wasn’t surprised when Taeyong answered the door for him and he found the rest of the apartment empty.

“Yuta?” Taeyong asked, confusion evident in his voice. He looked around, like he was expecting someone else to appear out of nowhere to accompany Yuta, but nothing happened. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, just wanted to talk. I’ll only be a second, if that’s okay.” Yuta stuttered a bit, admittedly nervous and hoping Taeyong wouldn’t just slam the door in his face.

He knew Taeyong well enough to know that wouldn’t happen, though. “Oh, sure, come in,” Taeyong said, making room for Yuta to step inside.

Yuta made himself comfortable on their couch—after all, he had been in this apartment so often he felt like it was practically his couch, too. Taeyong sat next to him, one of his legs pulled up onto the seat, an arm’s length away from Yuta.

The distance made Yuta grin to himself. “I just came because I wanted to tell you that I—I’m sorry,” Yuta started. It took Taeyong by surprise, his expression showing it clearly, and Yuta could hear his heart beating loudly in his ears, but he knew he could go on. “I was sort of mean the last time we talked, on the phone, and even back when—you know.” Yuta gestured vaguely in the air. “I’ve always felt bad about it and never apologized, so. Here I am.”

Taeyong shook his head vigorously. “No, Yuta, I’m—” He swallowed. “I’m the one who should say I’m sorry. I said really hurtful things to you without even realizing it and never made up for it or said sorry, or...” He curled his hands up into fists in his lap, which Yuta recognized meant that Taeyong truly felt guilty. “I’m really sorry. And…” Taeyong looked up and scooted a bit closer to Yuta, closing the awkward distance between them. “I loved you once, I really did. And I still care for you so much, you and Doyoung both. I really am happy for the two of you, I promise,” he said, sincerity dripping from his soft voice.  

Yuta gave him a real smile, the first one he offered Taeyong in over a year, and he reached up to flick his forehead. Taeyong yelped and his hands flew up to the spot where Yuta flicked to rub it. “Thank you, Yong.” He chuckled as Taeyong pouted and rubbed his forehead.

Taeyong’s hair was pink, now. Yuta thought it suited him better than red.

 

* * *

 

“The lights are so colorful and bright at night,” Taeyong marveled, eyes wide and taking in his surroundings.

“Well that is the point of lights, isn’t it,” Yuta deadpanned. He snickered at the glare that Taeyong sent his way and let him take the lead, walking around to whatever drew Taeyong’s eye.

It was already over, Yuta knew that much. The two of them never said anything about it, but they didn’t need to; Yuta could feel it, and he knew that Taeyong could too.

It wasn’t that they were unhappy or having a bad time together, but maybe that was why Yuta wouldn’t bring it up. Maybe this was enough.

“Hey, Yong,” Yuta called.

Taeyong turned, and Yuta saw the way the blues and purples of the bright lights reflected in Taeyong’s deep irises. He saw the way Taeyong’s soft hair fluttered in the cold breeze of winter, the freshly dyed red reminding him of cherries and velvet.

Yuta felt the ends of his new scarf brush against his bare hands, and his heart ached as if he had lost something.

_Just a little longer._

Yuta gave Taeyong a grin and retrieved his phone from his pocket. “Shall we ask someone to take our photo?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/mochibbh) // [cc](https://curiouscat.me/mochibbh0201)

**Author's Note:**

> if u made it to the end, i want to thank u so much!! leave a kudos if u liked it hehe and pls comment if you so please! this is the longest fic ive written, completed, and posted, so i hope it all makes sense lol. i love doyu, they're one of my fave ships, but for some reason i could never get their dynamic quite right. i hope this fic demonstrated a lot of what we all love about doyu ;;;;
> 
> ps. the title means "scent of winter" and i got it from this song, [orion by kenshi yonezu](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzAyrgSqeeE), which was basically the only thing i listened to for the whole of january
> 
> if u want to reach me, here are my links :~) 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/mochibbh) // [cc](https://curiouscat.me/mochibbh0201)


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